Surviving M1! — Gurbani Bedi

Hi Friends!

I have OFFICIALLY finished my first year of medical school! Somehow I managed to to go to India twice, be on two dance teams, judge dance competitions, be on three school boards, maintain a social and family life, and pass all my exams! These past 8 months were ones of tremendous growth as I navigated how to balance it all. Today I wanted to discuss the 3 main things that helped me figure it out: expectations, priorities, and time management. The biggest thing I want to convey through this is that medical school is grueling and that’s not going to change, but hopefully I can give some insight on how to make it enjoyable!

Before we knew what we were getting ourselves into!

Expectations:

Coming into medical school I expected that I was going to be at the top of my class, acing every exam, and just getting the content easily. This was NOT the case, and I actually had a pretty hard time adjusting academically during those first few months. I studied like I had all my life and quickly realized after my first exam that that wasn’t going to fly. I passed, but barely. This came as a huge shock to me because on one hand, I realized that my school was all pass fail so as long as I passed, it was going to be okay, but on the other hand, I was disappointed in myself. I had never done that poorly before on anything. Just after getting over the shock of that, we started our musculoskeletal unit where it was all anatomy. I had never taken anatomy before and within the first week I had burst into tears and called my dad telling him I don’t know how to do this or if I can do this.

After a brief meltdown, I accepted I couldn’t do this on my own and I didn’t have the tools necessary yet to succeed. I reached out and got an M2 tutor who was honestly a savior. He gave me the tips I needed to actually study for anatomy/med school in general and helped me shift through the hundreds of resources people kept suggesting and found the ones that worked for me. After that, him and I kept adjusting my study habits for the next 2 units, up until I felt comfortable handling it on my own.

The biggest takeaway for me throughout this year was that I was not going to be the top of our class, but nor was I going to be at the bottom. This was okay with me, because at the end of the day, I was still going to be a doctor. Other expectations of myself were that I was going to be extremely productive everyday, volunteer, research, eat healthy, go to the gym, and go the whole 9 yards all the time. This is unrealistic and I had many down days, feeling low on motivation, and really just not wanting to do anything. The thing is though: it happens and it’s okay!

Couldn’t have gotten through anatomy lab without these girls!

Priorities:

Hearing stories about medical school, you hear things like “all you do is study” or “you’re going to have no life”; I was determined to not make this the case. I know myself, and I know that I would go crazy if all I did was study - I have way too many other passions that I am just not willing to give up! Having this mindset was the best thing for my own mental health because I didn’t let school consume me this year. I wanted to stay on top of the business I had created for myself (fashion and social media), dance, and my social life.

Administration is honestly to thank for this, because they made my life so much easier in being able to do it all. I told my dean that I was on two dance teams, and he was so understanding and thought that it was a great residency talking point to do this during medical school, and would allow me to miss required events for dance. Additionally, my counselor helped me tremendously in being my advocate to let me go to India twice this year for both of my first cousins’ weddings. She understood it was important to me and my family to be there and that this was probably the best time to do it when I didn’t have patients yet!

The biggest takeaway with priorities was that my mental health always came first. School is extremely important as well, but my mindset was why kill myself for a 90 when a 70 will give me the same end result with me being happier. Because of this, I didn’t say no to anything I knew meant a lot to me. I travelled to judge dance competitions, I went to family functions still, I spent a few hours here and there with my non med school friends, I helped my old dance team, I took time just to relax, and I made new friends. Sitting there being unproductive and miserable is never better than taking a break and revitalizing yourself to actually study later.

With watchlist (one of my dance teams) for our first practice weekend in Philly!

Time Management:

In order to do everything that I discussed above, I had to be so on top of my time management skills. Just because I scheduled time to relax and do things I love, doesn’t mean that I had all the time in the world. Medical school is still medical school, and it’s extremely stressful at times. On top of school demands such as studying and attending labs/required events, there are also other academic demands of finding research, volunteering, and being on board for various organizations.

After getting into the groove of things, I realized that the first 2 weeks of a unit could be more lax school-wise for me, and that this was the time to do other activities. But again, I had to make sacrifices and chose what those activities were. I couldn’t just go out every single night and then at the same time expect to further my career goals and nor could I see every friend I wanted to all the time. It’s never going to be perfect, but I tried my best to find a balance to it all.

Luckily for me, some of my activities worked themselves out. The three boards I am on (health and wellness committee, AMWA, and AAPI) generally have all of their meetings during our school days in between required events, which makes scheduling and time on campus really easy for me. For my two dance teams, one only practiced Friday and Sunday nights which left my weekdays free to study, and the other met once a semester over a weekend in a different US city, which allowed me to balance both teams. Additionally, both of the competitions I judged only required me to go from Saturday-Sunday. This left most of my weeknights free, so I ended up treating school work as a weekday job a lot of the time. But, this meant studying as hard as possible, as much as I physically could, during those weeks I knew I would be missing a weekend. Additionally, I really tried to prioritize sleep and working out still. I needed 9 hours most days, and I needed to workout to not feel terrible all the time.

However, during exam weeks, almost all of this went out the window. I would study 12 hours a day the week before the exams, not go to the gym, not have any social obligations, and not sleep nearly as much. Our blocks of content were usually 4-6 weeks long, so this is the price I paid for prioritizing other things during the earlier weeks of the unit. I’m sure had I cut things out, that the week leading up to an exam wouldn’t feel like hell as much, but I wouldn’t change how I approached it, because it worked for me. This is not to say that I wasn’t scared that I wasn’t going to pass almost every time, because these exams are no joke and the volume of content is on a different level!

The biggest takeaway here for me was to love my google calendar whole heartedly, to actually focus when I studied, and understand sacrifices were going to have to be made. I work best under pressure and when I am the busiest, so this type of on the go, constant obligation lifestyle actually worked out really well for me. This is because I knew that I only had specific times I could study in order to do this all, so if I didn’t focus during that time, I was screwed. Worked for me, it definitely does not work for everyone.

Naps on campus during exam weeks are a must

In all, this year had a ton of ups and downs but I am extremely proud of myself for figuring out my study habits, pursuing and exploring specialities that I’m interested in, not giving up activities that I love, and actually enjoying the process. I’ve made some wonderful new friends, kept my old ones, and stayed close with my family who have made me stay sane throughout this process. Overall, my first year was not as bad as I thought it would be, and I really hope this is a way to show people you can still enjoy yourself throughout.

If you want more posts on how I studied, my day to day, or anything of the sort, please let me know or reach out with questions!

Until next time,

Gurbani